What if the confusion around ‘gender’ isn’t progress but a tool of disconnection
In 1966, psychologist John Money carried out what he called a groundbreaking experiment in gender identity. A baby boy named Bruce Reimer had suffered a failed circumcision. Instead of helping the child stay connected to his biological reality, Money convinced the parents to raise him as a girl, renaming him Brenda, removing his testes, and administering female hormones.
Money believed gender wasn’t rooted in biology but shaped by social environment. He used this child to “prove” his theory.
For years, the world believed it worked. It was praised in academic circles and seen as evidence that gender could be reassigned successfully. But the truth came out later. Brenda never identified as a girl. She grew up confused, anxious, and deeply unhappy. In her teens, she reclaimed her identity as a boy, calling himself David. He later took his own life.
Still, this experiment became the foundation of today’s gender theory, not because it was proven true, but because it fit a larger pattern. Across history, we’ve seen it again and again: when people are disconnected from their bodies, they become easier to influence, shape, and control.
Decades later, the same idea returned in the form of the Dutch Protocol. In the 1990s and 2000s, a gender clinic in Amsterdam developed a model recommending puberty blockers and hormones for children expressing gender distress. It was seen as compassionate and progressive. But the research behind it was weak: based on small groups, selectively reported results, and no long-term evidence of mental health improvement. Still, this model was rolled out globally.
More recent studies show that most children who feel unsure about their gender eventually grow out of it, if they are not pushed into early, irreversible decisions. But instead of listening to this, the system continues to normalize medical transition for children, claiming it is the best path forward.
The word gender used to apply only to grammar. Its shift into the realm of identity added a layer of abstraction between who we are and how we were born. When we stop trusting the truth of our own body, we become dependent on others to tell us who we are. That isn’t empowerment, it is disconnection.
We now live in a time where confusion is treated as clarity. When people list “he/him” or “she/her” in their bios (here on LinkedIn), what does that really mean? It doesn’t signal power. It signals that identity is something we’re expected to declare, explain, and perform, often to fit a social trend or system.
Some use these pronouns as a gesture of compassion, wanting to show care for those who feel different or have chosen to alter their sex. But this kind of compassion, however well-meant, helps normalize a system that feeds disconnection. It affirms confusion instead of questioning its root. And when false compassion reinforces harmful narratives, it becomes part of the problem, not the solution.
This isn’t about judging individuals. There are people with deep questions. But the system takes those questions and feeds them into a structure that separates us from inner truth. It replaces embodied knowing with psychological labels, and biology with ideology.
Children are born highly sensitive, energetically open, and deeply attuned to their environment. But they are not born confused. Confusion arises when the signals they receive from the world around them contradict what they know in their bodies. When adults - or media - model dissociation, performance, or unprocessed emotion, children absorb it. Their nervous system begins adapting to survive the field, not live in their truth.
So yes, children become confused when the adults around them are disconnected. What is now called “gender dysphoria” may often be an expression of this energetic misalignment, translated into the language of identity because that is the only narrative the culture offers. And the systems they grow up in no longer protect their clarity. They often reinforce the confusion.
In the Netherlands, for example, teenagers from age 16 can now legally change their registered sex without needing parental consent and without any medical intervention. From age 12, children can begin medical conversations with doctors about their identity confusion, including puberty blockers - under the banner of “care” - without full understanding of the long-term impact.
Let’s name the structure underneath it:
1. It codifies identity as subjective, and detaches it from biology.
The ability to legally change sex markers without any medical transition is not a neutral move. It severs identity from the body. It tells young people: who you are is no longer tied to how you were born, reality is what you say it is.
This isn’t about inclusion. It is the embedding of gender theory into law, not through evidence, but through policy. Once law and language shift, perception follows. Over time, biology becomes taboo. Something to be overcome, dismissed, or redefined.
2. It normalizes fragmentation as freedom.
What appears to be a step toward self-determination is, in practice, the legalization of identity fragmentation. It tells a generation: your body holds no truth, only your chosen narrative does.
That is not sovereignty. That is dissociation dressed as empowerment.
3. It is a gateway, not a destination.
Once a teen changes their legal sex, the next step, medical alignment, becomes socially and psychologically inevitable for many. The system doesn’t force it, but the pressure is woven in:
“You’ve claimed the identity. Now align your body with it.”
Schools, peers, online communities, even medical systems begin treating the new identity as fact. Legal change becomes the quiet green light for physical change.
4. It is not about individuals. It is about reengineering society.
The queer movement supports this because it affirms the belief that identity is fluid and self-chosen. But at scale, this leads to something else: the erosion of all fixed reference points for what it means to be human.
Once the boundary between male and female blurs at the legal level, every system built on biological reality - family, language, education, sports - must adapt. That creates cultural instability. And in the void, new authorities rise.
The more people doubt themselves, the more they turn to systems for answers. That is the deeper function: destabilize self-trust, increase institutional reliance.
What is most dangerous is that this manipulation doesn’t feel like force, it feels like freedom. That is the brilliance of it. The next generation is told they are choosing. That it is self-expression. That it is sovereignty. But what they are often choosing from is not truth, it is preloaded options offered by a culture that has already shaped the question. Real freedom isn’t the ability to pick from a list of identities. It is the ability to feel what is authentically true beneath all of them, and act from there.
So no, this law is not about freedom. It is about soft rewiring. A cultural primer.
It tells young people:
You no longer need your parents. You no longer need your body. You just need our system to tell you who you are.
And confused people, especially confused children, are the easiest to program.
Are we aware of what this really means? That children are treated as if they have the maturity to define their identity, while their parents are left out. That false sovereignty is being granted before real sovereignty has even had the chance to take root.
Add to that the endless stream of media campaigns, celebrity stories, and films glorifying identity struggle as self-expression. The expansion of LGBTQIA+ categories isn’t just about inclusion. It has become a moving target that keeps identity fluid, fragmented, and impossible to ground. What looks like compassion often hides deeper disconnection.
This isn’t about judgment. It is about clarity.
It is about the importance of parents, educators, and leaders staying rooted, so the next generation has something real to lean into.
Because when everything becomes subjective, and nothing is anchored in truth, confusion is no longer a phase. It becomes a lifelong identity.
Sovereignty doesn’t come from choosing a label. It comes from remembering who you are, beneath all of them.
If this shifted something in you, sharing is appreciated.
I kindly invite you to explore my work.
The Living Field brings teams and organisations into aligned frequency—where presence, alignment, and coherence aren’t luxuries, but leadership. It includes Mirror Mastery, a radically honest reflection space—using AI to uncover what’s real beneath our perceptions.
More at www.luciennekoops.com
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